Switching Black Friday

Me: "There is a rumor going around that they are moving Black Friday to the Friday after Halloween." 

M. S.: "That's stupid, why would they do that?" 

Me: "I don't know but in better news Viagra's up 6%."

- Fudggies

Teething Rings are Not Just for Babies

M. S., C. K., M. S.'s mom and I went out to dinner to McDonald's tonight.  M. S. started whining about his upcoming teeth surgery and his mom was giving him reminders on what cold foods he should eat.  Then I took out my phone and texted him.  I told him to check his phone.  He took out his phone and gave me an annoyed look. 
Then I said: "Aren't you going read what I texted you?"
M. S. gave me another dirty look and then exclaimed: "She told me a should get a teething ring!"
M. S. mom then asked: "Why would he need a teething ring?"
Me: "Cause you freeze and it would feel good on your gums."
M. S. mom gave me a look of surprise and said: "Huh... Didn't think about that," she looked over at M. S. "maybe you should get one."
M. S. then looked over at me and exclaimed: "I hate you."

- Fudggies

"C" Tools in Scattergories are Not Always What You Think

I was playing Scattergories with some from friends and the letter we had to use was "C".  I was partnered up with W. E. and we were down to the very last subject: Tools.  He wrote down on: Chainsaw.  I knew that there is more than one kind of tool, so I wrote down: Condom.  He gave me a dirty look and made me cross it off cause he didn't think it was appropriate. 
The timer went off and everyone read a loud what they had and then it came to our turn.  W. E. read off what we had but did not read off what I wrote for tools.  I got annoyed and I said what I wrote for as a tool and everyone laughed. 
Then L. D. exclaimed:  "She is right.  There is more than one kinda tool cause you can say so and so is a tool."
T. D. then said: "You can not promote condoms in a Catholic School (referring to Health Class earlier that day)!"
If she did not anything, I would've gotten the point for the word. 
- Fudggies

Throwing Midgets is Illegal

W. E., B. M. and I were talking one afternoon when W. E. says:  "Did you know midgets is illegal in ___ states (can not remember the exact number)?"
B. M.: "Oh really which states?"
W. E. starts naming off states.
B. M.: "Ha! You did not mention Vermont!"
W. E.: "F*#%!" - Fudggies

Flying Midget

This happened a few weeks ago. 


I poked B. M.  He poked me back and moved backed quickly when I reached to poke him back. 
Me: "No fair."  He gives me an evil grin and laughs.  Mean while my friend W. E.  is playing on his laptop not paying attention to us.  Me:  "I can not reach you so I guess I will have to throw W. E."
W. E.: "YOU CAN NOT THROW THE MIDGET!!!"  - Fudggies

Of Spoons and Tea

C. K. and I just made tea.  C. K. : "This spoon is reusable."  I give her a weird look.   C. K. "You know why?"
Me: "Why?"  C. K.: "I used the other end."  - Fudggies

The Noise from My Parent's Room

The Noise from My Parent’s Room

The sound of a bear growling

Grrr….

Whistling of the wind

Over and over again

I’m starting to get nervous

I grab for a bat and a flashlight

I creep down the hallway

The noise is coming from my parent’s room

I slowly open the door

Creaking very softly

Just to find my dad fast asleep

And snoring very loudly

I crawl back to my bed and get a good night’s sleep 

- Fudggies 

SCHOOL

SCHOOL

Skinning my knee while riding my bike on the way to school

Crazy friends laughing at me

Having to deal with drama between friends

Over enthusiastic for the end of the school day

Only one more day ‘til Friday

Long tiresome day

- Fudggies

Homework

Homework

Worse than house work

Required to pass your classes

Writing has to be legible

No doodles unless you want to lower your grade

Usually takes between 15 minutes to 2 hours

No hope of escaping anytime soon

- Fudggies

Halloween

Halloween

A full moon on a chilly Halloween night

People putting garlic on their doors to scare off the vampires

Children trick or treating

Coming home later to count or trade their candy

Troublemakers egging and toilet papering people’s houses

Running and hiding when they hear the police coming

Going home,

To where they hope their parents haven’t noticed they snuck out

- Fudggies

Cleaning My Room

Cleaning My Room

Mess everywhere

Can’t find the floor

Can’t tell clean clothes from dirty

Threw them in the clothes basket

Blasting my music

Cleared off my bookshelf

Found my books

Picked up the leftover blankets and pillows from when my friend slept over two days ago

Put it in a bucket

Shoved it in the closet

Made my bed

There’s my floor!

- Fudggies